i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
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