Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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