worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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