Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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