Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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