your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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