I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
my phone needs a breathalizer
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
