maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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