Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
