I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
