I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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