Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
birth control should be required to get into college
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
