I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
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whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
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Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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