You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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