Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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