Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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