dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
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He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
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I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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