It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize