gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
