SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
