omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
