I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I need to calm my uterus...
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
