i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
