I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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