we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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