I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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