After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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