I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Randomize
