she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
