seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize