Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She told me I should be a condom model.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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