They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
