i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
