im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Betty ford says i'm here all night
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
