I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I think a kid would responsible me up
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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