Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
