They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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