I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
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He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
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time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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