It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
