those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
why do cheetos always look like penises
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
