then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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