She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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