UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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