Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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