he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Less talking, more tequila
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize