I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
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