There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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