Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
are you so shy because you have an std?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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