Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
