Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
