I love black thongs
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
