I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
