im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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