Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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