Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
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after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
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I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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