Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
