He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
