found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
