Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
