she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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