I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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