It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
