Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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