Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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