he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Randomize
