She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize